the day after yesterday

urgh!
we have now gone from the sublime to the ridiculous...
i sat at my desk the whole day yesterday & did absolutely nothing of any interest or value, I have become an oxygen thief...amongst other things! haaa haaa!! (so funny, I know...I could just die laughing at myself) - wow!! - am I sensing a sense of humor failure? - it could just be....
Perhaps I should go & look for it & try this again later...

It's been a looooooong weekend!

So, the Easter weekend’s past… what a bloody relief…! I tried to make it though all clean & sober… but oh, the obstacles (jah, right, whatever!) – always an excuse to have a line…then 2…3….4….5….until… oh, my, gawd!! – It’s all finished… my nose is going to explode…my head’s going to implode… I’m so fucked off my tree-skull…I need a drink to take the edge off… oh crap, am I becoming an addict… oh fuck…I am a little coke head…
Ah, yes! The title of my blog & the story of my life, all a game, a test of sorts, my slow suicide…at the hands of CoKe_LiTe…
Let me take you on a trip… to a far away place…
Let me show you the world through my eyes….
It’s been rather interesting, living with absolutely no emotion, it’s like being a psychopathic serial killer, except that, stating the obvious…I don’t stalk around at night (or in the daytime) killing people…perhaps living with no feeling is overstating it somewhat… there are moments of feeling, where they all come rushing back, all at once, in an overwhelming flood of sorts… like my current issues with my girlfriend, if I could call her that, I just don’t know…do I love her? Should I tell her? I think I love her… could I love anyone ever again? Could I trust anyone enough to love them?…do I trust myself enough? – Overkill!
PUKE!